"Flag on the moon....How did it get there?"

Yes I’m a trendy asshole, but I felt like making my top 10 Christmas movie list. I don’t even like the holiday all that much you have to hang out with relatives and buy things and shit, but there are some damn good Christmas movies. Most of these I have been watching for years and going back and looking at them reminds me of a simpler time before my childhood innocence was long gone.

1. Muppets Family Christmas- Easily my favorite holiday movie, I have actually seen this movie more so then any movie out there. I could recite every line with confidence. My mother taped this off TV in the late 80’s and I still have that VHS copy which I watch with my brothers every year. Muppets go to Fozzi Bears mom’s house, meet up with the cast of Sesame Street and find a Fraggle Hole??? GTFO.

2. Christmas Vacation- This movie is so damn funny it would be my number 1 if I didn’t have such an emotional attachment to the first one. This movie to me represents holiday life of every average joe family. I can see most of the events in this film happening to my family. Except I wish Cousin Eddie was part of my family. Clarks’ “hap hap happiest christmas” rant is pure gold.

3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (cartoon)- Boris Karloff and Dr. Suess, there is a collaboration made in heaven. I’ve always related to the grinch, being pissed all the time at those goddamn Who’s in Whoville being all happy and smug and shit. But seriously what a great moral tale this is and that dog with the antler on his head always makes me lol.

4. Santa Claus is Comin to Town- The origin of Santa Claus, I always loved this movie for answering the questions surrounding the myth of Santa. I loved how that warlock was so evil, but he didn’t know how to walk. How did he even function?? Also, Burgermeister Meisterburger is not only the greatest name put on film, but one of the greatest characters. That dude hated toys so much (except for yo-yos).

5. Rudolf- Not much to say about this one, always was a favorite and still is. I can’t wait til they inevitably desecrate it with a remake. This one is also packed with great characters most notably Yukon Conelias and the Abominable Snowman. I still love how the abominable snowman bounces off a cliff and redeems himself by putting a star on top of the Christmas tree. Am I the only one who thought the toys on the misfit island were totally awesome? I would have loved to get those as gifts.

6. Muppet Christmas Carol- The Christmas Carol story is great on its own and it needs to make an appearance on here. There are so many great adapations of it, but since I have such a love for the muppets I have to go with this one. There has never been a greater job done when it came to casting a role then when Statler and Waldorf were cast as Marley and Marley. I guess Michael Caine was pretty good too.

7. Charlie Brown Christmas- Charles Schultz’ F U to commercialism of Christmas. The older I get the more I appreciate how well this movie was written. You don’t need a fancy tree to appreciate the holiday.

8. It’s a Wonderful Life- What’s the holiday season with out Jimmy Stewart being effing AWESOME and Clarence the angel busting his ass to save a life. Unfortunately in recent years the subject of this film hit close to home and made it more difficult for me to watch. That doesn’t change the fact that it is one of the most heartwarming movies ever made, and I’m glad my mom would make me watch it with her every year.

9. Home Alone- The Sticky/Wet Bandits. I absolutely love this movie, it pulls off a slapstick comedy with meaning. Plus it has John Candy in it which automatically raises its kick ass factor.

10. Die Hard- What’s that? It’s not a Christmas movie? Bullshit it’s a Christmas movie with enormous nuts. The entire movie takes place at a Christmas party. My home boy Argyle is listening to Run DMC’s Christmas in Hollis in his limo. “Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring except for these 4 assholes coming around the back in the standard 2 x 2 formation”. Best line ever? I watch this every holiday season for a nice testosterone filled change of pace.

Honorable mentions: Silent Night Deadly Night 1 and 2, Black Christmas, Elf, The Santa Claus, Scrooged, Gremlins, Frosty the Snowman, Bad Santa and White Christmas. I HATE a Christmas Story and no argument you can make will ever change my mind. Let me know what you think what classics would you include that I left out?

ihatelousyshots:

This Date In History:

1980

Dec. 8 - John Lennon is shot and killed by Mark David Chapman in front of The Dakota apartment building in New York City.

2004

Heavy metal guitarist Dimebag Darrell (Darrell Abbott) of Pantera/Damageplan is shot while performing onstage at a Columbus night club.

Back when I wasn’t a lazy unathletic slob I would rock Pantera all the time at the gym. I can’t believe it’s been 5 years already. I also can’t believe how much whiskey I consumed in remembrance the days after. To be fair even if he was alive that last part probably wouldn’t have changed but whatever. RIP Dime and Lennon.

ihatelousyshots:

Dark Knight In 60 Seconds

This video was a finalist in the 2009 Jameson Empire Awards. Basically, you go out and recap one of your favorite movies under a minute. This is pretty imaginative and you’ve got to love the sound FX… I kind of want to make my own… who’s with me? Boog?

I am with you all the way. I say if we are looking for the easiest way to start though we should make it of Fellini’s 8 1/2. We could just shoot a bunch of random things and not make any sense for 60 seconds and it would most likely be revered as artistically genius.